There is no right or wrong!

You need to lose weight, your BMI says you’re obese, your eyebrows are too thin, your lips are tiny, what you use the gym!? Oh wow you run really? You do weights! You could do with some botox there, you’d look better if you did this, run fatty run!

All the things that have been said to me over the years! I then think about all the times I’ve said or thought negative things about other people. Uneducated and brainwashed by clever marketing from big companies trying to sell something.

But now finally, educated and aware of all the tricks of the trade I can confidently say enough is enough! This is my body. Mine. And only I have a body like it! And I bloody love it! It’s not a normal body because there isn’t such a thing! And just like art, there is no right or wrong when it comes to body shapes, sizes or facial features And this is a fact! And no one, female or male has a right to make a comment on it! Or on anyone else's!

There is no right or wrong! So why do we still find ourselves comparing what we have to other women's bodies or facial appearances?

Why are we still comparing to someone else’s and trying to be something that we are not! And may well never be! Why can’t we just be us? and be happy with what we’ve got?

Women go through so much, right from as early as 8/9 years old when we start the process of our bodies turning into our adult bodies. We deal with hormones day to day as soon as we start puberty, we have kids and get married, try and balance our lives as well as looking after ourselves physically and mentally, then we hit perimenopause ready for the menopause, I mean when do we get a break? 

And then on top of that we put so much pressure on ourselves to conform to what society says we should look like, what weight we should be, what dress size we are, what wrinkles we should and shouldn’t have!

But I don’t know about you, I am so fed up of society having a vocal opinion on women's appearances! Especially online! Constantly bombarding us with picture perfect images of what women “should” look like and how their body should be! Even more annoying when these images have been altered, edited and photoshopped meaning there not even real anyway! And now we have to compete with AI as well! FFS!

We’ve been made to believe over the years that stretch marks, wrinkles,wobbly bellies, untoned body parts, baggy skin (well let's be honest the list goes on and on!) are not welcome and shouldn’t be in our lives, these should be quickly sorted out, we're told to get rid of them or change them because they don’t look nice, but for who are they not nice?

We’ve been presented with beautiful, slim and toned women with no “imperfections” for years and years with the belief that this is how you should look if you want to be accepted, reach your goals, be successful, attract a man/woman, have a family and get married! And don’t get me wrong there's nothing wrong with being slim, toned and beautiful! This isn't an attack from a "larger" woman to a slimmer woman! But it's not the only option!

And am calling bull shit on it all! IT'S ABSOULUTE BULL SHIT!

These unrealistic body shapes and facial features that everyone should aim for, has made it harder and harder for women to fully accept what they have!

Now am all for women doing whatever they want to feel confident and happy! I fully support that! Confident and happy women feel empowered to conquer the world, ready to achieve anything they want! And that is a force that’s unstoppable! People can and should do whatever they want to make themselves happy! Whatever that may be!

But what makes me angry and frustrated, is a lot of the time people do things to feel accepted and by people they don’t even know!! Constantly worried what other people will think of them if they go out without makeup on, have wrinkles or show their stretch marks. But guess what, no one even cares! There not even looking because there too worried about their own body!

And this is because over the years the beauty and fashion industry have had a product to sell!

They have created these misconceptions of women by using slim and beautiful women to help their products look more appealing. Because let's face it, we've been made to believe that "fat" people aren't appealing! (am allowed to say fat because apparently am obese, so my BMI says anyway so it must be true)

The beauty and fashion industry (which has a lot to answer for) is mainly female consumers and is worth millions if not billions, and that's understandable as 9 out of 10 women say buying beauty products and the lastest fashion item makes them feel good and boosts confidence, again am here for all that! And they have some amazing products within these industries. Some of which I've looked into myself!

But women still feel pressure to look a certain way, loose weight to look better, feel like they have to be a certain body shape and weight before they can be happy.  But why do we need to look a certain way? Why are we losing weight to look better? For who, do we need to change for? 

These industries and big companies have defined what women should and shouldn’t look like, what's right and what's wrong, simply to sell us their products. There is literally a product of some sort to "fix" everything and anything! 

Most of these products have been invented by men! The most popular products used in everyday life we all love to use has been invented by a man. The products we use to enhance our beauty! Invented by a man! Google it see what you use that has been invented by a man.

These industries, which are also dominantly male led, are capitalizing on women's insecurities and weaknesses. The mission to enhance women's beauty is at the centre of many businesses. And the profit these companies are making is being prioritized above the well being and mental health of women all around the world. And these days men have slowly been dragged into this! 

They have capitalized using marketing strategies that exploit the vulnerabilities of women (and men) by making them feel insecure and insignificant because of the way they look, constantly reminding them of the so called “imperfections”.

The imperfections they told us were imperfections by the way! But all completely normal.

And because of this, women are putting constant pressure on themselves to meet and sustain “this ideal body and appearance” which can be physically and mentally draining. Women have come to believe they will only be accepted and be happy if they look like the women they see in the adverts, slim and beautiful free from these so called imperfections.

Again I’d like to call bullshit on this!

Every single day women will struggle with who they are and the body they have. Convinced that they should look a certain way, be a certain weight, dress a certain way. We’ve been set unrealistic and high expectations and because of this our happiness and mental well being is constantly put at risk!

Why have we not broke the mould of looking and doing whatever the fuck we want!  

We have a responsibility to break down the barriers and stand up to these unattainable body types and beauty standards, not just for ourselves but for the women of the future.

Let's make a point of not comparing our bodies and wasting time and energy on how we can be a smaller dress size, a lower body weight or how to make your face more beautiful! 

Instead use that energy to learn about your body and facial features. Learn about their functions and how you can look after them. Learn about the genetics within your family. Learn about the hormones that are in your body and how they affect your body,weight and skin. Learn about the 4 stages of your period and what your body goes through in each stage. Because no one else will teach us this stuff!

Let's accept that every single body and facial feature is completely different!

We need accept that bodies are different ages, different stages of life, different genders, have different genetic backgrounds, have different health issues. 

Lets change our mindsets and look at the positives are bodies do for us! Stop focussing on on how much we weigh, how many wrinkles we have, what dress size we are. Who cares!

What matters is you’re happy! And your mental health and well being is balanced.

Focus on that! Focus on making yourself mentally happy and balanced! 

Let that be priority. Because when your mental health is happy and balanced, everything else falls into place. Being mentally happy means you can be more positive about everything else, including what you look like. Creating an environment you can be relaxed in and enjoy life with little regard to what others think or expect of you!

We need to start embracing what we’ve got and respect our bodies for everything they go through and getting us through another day! Because that is an absolute privilege. And it deserves to be happy and respected!

It’s time for women to appreciate themselves and be proud of their bodies and what they’ve got! What they've done for us!

Your weight, your body size, your facial features, they are all only a portion of what defines you. They don’t and will never define who or what you are capable of!

So, this is my body. My facial features. 9 years postpartum. and I've never been happier! Full of my so called imperfections, they are all mine. and I love every single part of them.

Because it's healthy, keeps me strong and safe. And every part of it has a story, everything is there for a reason! I have earned every single stretch mark that came from turning into a woman and growing my 2 girls, every wrinkle has come from every laugh, or cry in the shower. I have a baggy skin everywhere from aging each day, wobbly bits that love to bounce, sun blemishes and freckles, scars, dark areas, dry skin and I’ve even got hairy toes! All perfectly normal “imperfections” to have on a body. That everyone has! 

AND I LOVE EVERY PART OF IT. It’s time to start loving yours! And stop comparing!